[Warning: Potentially Triggering Content] Jennette McCurdy is opening up about the "creepy" relationship she found herself in as a teen... with a man in his 30s!!!! The Nickelodeon alum appeared on Wednesday's episode of the Call Her Daddy podcast, where she opened up about her new book Half His Age - a literary fiction about a teen girl's love affair with a much-older man. For those who didn't read her memoir I'm Glad My Mom Died, Jennette revealed she herself had become involved with an older man as a teen on the set of iCarly. She's never named the mystery man, but during her interview with Alex Cooper, broke down all the ways he pursued her younger-self: The now-33-year-old recalled "hanging out [with him] in the writers' room after work," adding: "He would show me movies he thought I would like, like Dazed and Confused, which I did not like but pretended to like. He would play me music I did not like but pretended to like." Related: Justin Baldoni Claims Blake Lively Was 'Setting Me Up For A Trap' While Filming NSFW Scenes Jennette reflected on what "terrible taste" he had, before diving more into how their romance progressed: "The feelings part of it, like us saying our feelings, I don't remember the sort of nature of that. But I remember him coming over really drunk one night to my apartment - at this point I've moved out of my mom's place, I'm very new. Also, red flags all over ... He comes over and he has beer stains on his shirt, and he's bumbling around. At this point in my life I've never had a sip of alcohol, so I don't understand how drunk he is ... now I understand he was drunk off his ass." She says she was "most likely 18" when this all occurred, and she continued: "We make out and it's a lot of dry humping. And it's that for months ... At that point, I was no longer going to church but I was still very tied to my Mormon roots, and didn't want sex before marriage, and didn't feel ready for that. And I certainly was not in terms of maturity." On how she felt about the age gap, the Sam & Cat star recalled: "[I remember] thinking that I was mature, thinking that I was so smart that this could happen. Also, I hadn't really felt a deep connection with anybody my age at that point yet ... I remember thinking, 'there's just something about me that's a little different. I'm special.' That's what it felt like for me." More like he was just a creep! As for how he justified it, Jennette added: "Like that ... 'You're so mature, I can't talk to anyone this way, I can't believe how smart you are.' Like, are you kidding me? I was such an idiot. I'm so embarrassed." So, so twisted! The author went on to reveal this mystery man had a girlfriend at the time, which she tried to force herself to be okay with. But by about two or three months into their talking stage, said she couldn't live with the guilt. So, the dude said he'd break things off with his GF. Around the same time, Jennette's mother had a seizure and had to come stay with her at her apartment for care. That sparked the dude to have a freak out about leaving his GF, claiming Jennette couldn't meet his "needs," so she tried to patch things up with a hotel meet up. There, he asked her for a "blow job," which she'd never heard of at the time due to her her Mormon roots and being homeschooled: "He explains to me what it is and I'm like, 'that sounds kind of weird, I'm nervous to do this.' He's like, 'I'll guide you though it,' whatever, he does, and then he's like, 'I'm gonna c**,' and then it squirts in my mouth and I'm like, 'what was that, what was that?' ... I did not know what c** was." She went on to reveal that was her "entry point into a real form of sexual activity" - particularly because the guy threw around sentiments like, "I'm a mid-30s man and this is something I need. I'm respectful of your boundary that you can't have sex before marriage, but I also have needs of my own." Which in retrospect, Jennette recognizes as an assertion of power. She admitted she "eventually did have sex with him," "disregard[ing] my self-imposed rule," and labeled the relationship "addictive." "That's the thing that I'm chasing. My nervous system is hijacked, waiting for [it]. After, there's the crash. Then it ramps up again in anticipation for the next. Once that tapered off is really when the relationship tapered off." Their connection ended when Jennette's mother passed away in 2013, however things rekindled "for a second" afterwards. Reflecting on now writing a novel about that kind of dynamic, Jennette said: "Writing is my way to closure for past experiences. I didn't realize how angry I still was. I didn't think of this person ever that I was in a relationship with at all. He wasn't on my mind. Then I'm writing this book ... because I have so much anger, so much left to process." You can listen to more from this bombshell interview (below): We're so happy Jennette is working through the trauma she endured as a teen... shame on the dude who manipulated her! Our hearts cont