Counting Crows lead singer Adam Duritz delves into his high-profile romances, history with mental illness and more in the band's new documentary, Counting Crows: Have You Seen Me Lately? The film, which hit HBO Max on Friday, December 19, revisits the band's journey to stardom in the early '90s during the making of their first two records - and doesn't shy away from exploring how Duritz's leadership affected their overall success, for better or worse. "Over the years, he's pissed a lot of people off," bandmate David Bryson told cameras after the documentary delved into Duritz sparring with Saturday Night Live producers in 1994 when they threatened to cut back the group's performance time. "He's in charge of the band, he makes decisions, he doesn't really consult anybody about it. One of the reasons we've stuck together over the years is because we accept that. It's OK." He added: "Sometimes it's not OK, but mostly it's OK." Drew Carey Reflects on His Battle With Depression and 2 Suicide Attempts Duritz himself is candid in his interviews, acknowledging that his mental health struggles occasionally led to tension in the recording studio, tour dates being canceled and drama in his romantic life. "A lot of my songs are about difficult moments in people's lives, but they're also always sort of leavened with the idea of hope. I know I'm the kind of person who thinks about things being hopeless in a lot of situations, and I especially was when I was younger," Duritz explained in the doc's opening. "Because on top of everything else and whatever difficulties you may be going through, I had a mental illness that I didn't know what it was, I didn't understand what was happening and I just knew it was really hard to live with. It's like, how do you move yourself more towards hope when you can't sleep and you can't think clearly?" He added that while it was great to "suddenly have a career," his celebrity status only heightened his struggles. "There were all these things that came along with [my career] that just made everything really f***ing difficult," he said. His bandmates, meanwhile, are open in recognizing that Duritz faced far more complications from fame than they ever did. "I'm a Little League coach and a dad," Bryson said. "I'm still not famous!" Keep scrolling for the biggest bombshells from the Counting Crows: Have You Seen Me Lately? documentary: Adam Duritz's Mental Health Struggles Included Dissociation and Self-Harm Robert Mora/Getty Images The Counting Crows claimed that each one of them almost quit during the making of their first album, August and Everything After, due to Adam Duritz's strong-willed ways. "In the studio, he would have really dark episodes where he didn't really know how to communicate what it is he wanted," keyboardist Charlie Gillingham shared in the documentary. "And he didn't like the way it was." Duritz, meanwhile, said he struggled because he "just needed" the music "to feel a certain way," but he "didn't know exactly what was wrong. I just needed to feel it. And I wasn't very good at it. I didn't know how to tell people how to be Counting Crows." Mary-Louise Parker, who dated Duritz in the late '90s, said that she could relate to his creative process but understood why some couldn't grasp it. "When he's in the act of creating, he's not the easiest person. Because he's striving for something beyond his expectations," she explained. "He wants it to surprise him. He wants it to be better than he could imagine. He's going to be relentless in pursuing that. And not everybody is like that." Duritz said things took a turn for the worse when he turned 21. After drinking a big glass of water one day, he started to feel like he was "on acid," a sensation that would go on to last for one year. "I would be afraid to open my eyes in the morning. I just really wanted it to be over, and it wouldn't be," he recalled. "That's the beginning of when I thought there was seriously something wrong with me mentally. And it had nothing to do with drugs. It was just happening. And that's when I started to get medicated by a doctor because it was so scary and it wouldn't stop." While the first record led to a three-year touring stint, Duritz continued to struggle with his mental health. His battle got more intense after the band's second album, Recovering the Satellites, hit shelves in 1996. Duritz's therapist recommended that he take time to rest, but the musician wanted to keep his promise of touring. Instead, he did an entire tour while coming off his prescribed medication, which his therapist said was a "really rough" experience for Duritz. Eventually, Duritz said he began to "cut" himself to feel better. "And the worst part about cutting yourself is you do it and it works," he said. "It does release some of it, so [you think], 'I should cut myself some more because it's actually making it better.'" Luckily, Duritz realized that he had enough "logic" to recognize that self-harming wasn't "actually