Holidays were a special time for Pamela Warner and her son, Malcolm-Jamal Warner, but not in a traditional sense. "I remember one Thanksgiving we had tacos," she tells Us Weekly with a laugh. "I said, 'Well, we've got turkey meat, we've got corn tortillas, lettuce and tomatoes and cheese.' We had a ball." She has a similar memory from an Easter they spent together when the actor was a child. "He must have been about six or seven. [We got] all dressed up and we went to church, and then we came home and ate tuna fish sandwiches. That was our Easter dinner, and we were just as happy." Pamela is holding memories of her late son close to her heart. On July 20, the beloved star of The Cosby Show drowned on a Costa Rican beach after getting caught in a riptide at the age of 54. He was traveling with his wife, Tenisha, and their 8-year-old daughter, who witnessed the tragedy but was not, despite early official reports, in the water. "I'm doing OK," Pamela says. After spending more than four decades as Warner's manager, she's now focusing most of her energy on running the Malcolm- Jamal Warner Living Legacy foundation (Warner's widow launched a separate endeavor, The Warner Family Foundation, in September). "We had conversations prior that I see now were really goodbye conversations. That has made it a little better for me," Pamela says. "I can't think of anything I wish I could have said to Malcolm." Speaking to Us Weekly, Pamela reflects on the despair of learning Malcolm had lost his life and how he would like to be remembered. How are you coping? I've been doing well. There's nothing you can do about it, and anything other than acceptance is nonproductive. I'm at peace because there's nothing I can do, and because he and I were in a very good space. I don't have the shoulda, woulda, couldas. People have certain expectations because it's a major loss, and the world knew of our closeness, so they're expecting a tremendous [outpouring] of emotion. I'm not saying it won't happen, but it hasn't happened. There's a lot of business to be taken care of, and that piece really helps [keep me] distracted. Everything We Know About Malcolm-Jamal Warner's Death So Far Grief comes in different stages. Exactly. I don't know how I'll be in six months, but this is where I am. I'm going to miss him. And, as the onion peels and the layers come up, I'm sure I will go down a rabbit hole or two. Maybe I'm still numb. What do you recall from the day you found out he died? Malcolm's best friend came and told me the news. I said, "Is this about Malcolm?" and he said yes. And then I just went into outer space. I said, "Is he dead?" and he shook his head, and I completely lost it. I yelled so loud. I live on a cul-de-sac, and my neighbors came running out of the house. They could hear it. The level of grief is something unimaginable. Brendan Hoffman/Getty Images What was your last conversation with Malcolm? He sent me a text and said that he was on his way [to Costa Rica] and he loved me. When he got to Costa Rica, he sent me a video with him and his daughter. [I was thinking] he'll be home on such-and-such date, and he's having fun. That was how we left it. Have you learned what his final moments were like? I haven't spoken with authorities, but I did speak with the gentleman who was with Malcolm in the water. [Malcolm, Tenisha and their daughter were traveling with another family in the homeschool community. They were all in Costa Rica as part of a Spanish language immersion program. The other husband also got caught in the riptide with Malcolm, who Pamela says was "not an experienced swimmer," but survived.] I met with him and his wife because this gentleman is suffering tremendously from survivor's guilt. How did that conversation go? It was emotional. He needed to know I held nothing against him. He has a daughter, like Malcolm did. So he had to save himself. He was being pulled out to sea, and he had to fight. When we left our meeting, he felt relieved. It was healing for him. Pamela Warner and Malcolm-Jamal Warner. Courtesy of Pamela Warner Did it give you closure? Yeah, because I saw how deeply this young man and his wife were affected. I did not want them to stay in that state because they have a child to raise as well. This was something that was beyond anyone's control. I wanted him to feel more at peace. How is Malcolm's wife doing? She's dealing with her grief. And who's helping their daughter navigate this? Her mother. She has her doctorate in psychology. So I feel she has the skills and is equipped to help her daughter. Celebrity Deaths of 2025: Buck Rogers' Gil Gerard and More Stars What was Malcolm like as a dad? Oh, he was fantastic. I was very impressed with the deepness of his care... and by his ability to be a kid and do kid stuff. He really enjoyed it. [Because of] what was happening with our politics at that time, he would say, "The way the world is now, I don't want to bring a child into this." But then magic happened