Colleen Hoover is traumatized by the It Ends With Us legal war! Almost a year after this drama began, the author has FINALLY broken her silence on how she really feels about Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni's lawsuit! Last winter, Blake accused the director of sexual harassment, creating a toxic workplace environment, and retaliation, and they've been brutally battling it out in court and headlines ever since. After making some initial statements in Blake's favor, Colleen deleted social media for a bit and has stayed incredibly quiet... until now! Speaking to Elle on Thursday, the writer expressed: "It feels like a circus. When there are real people involved, with real feelings and emotions." Related: Post Malone Settles Custody Battle - Details HERE She feels the controversy has even "impacted some of the actors' careers" in "huge" ways, stressing: "I just find it all around sad." The interview was conducted just a few weeks before Colleen was set to give a deposition in the case. Despite having to get involved, she said she was "trying to stay removed from the negativity" of it all. But personally, she's also been dealing with processing her own negative experience. Hinting at her side of the story, she said: "I have my own story I could tell ... but I don't want to bring attention to it, and I don't want to have to put someone else down to lift myself up. So, I'd rather just ignore it and let people think and say what they're going to say." Jeez. What tea does she have to spill?? Will we ever find out? As Perezcious readers know, doing the promo push for the film, it seemed like Colleen was on Blake's side, but recently revealed messages have shown she never picked a side. So, who's her issue with?? Hmm. For now, she's just tryin to move on - because this scandal has wreaked havoc on her family. It Ends With Us was inspired by her parents' relationship, and now it's a story that'll haunt the family: "The book was inspired by [my mother's] story, and now it gives us PTSD to think about it. I feel awful because I almost feel like she's gone through more with the aftermath of this film, more pain than she went through with my dad, just seeing the ugliness of it." Whoa. That's really saying something. She continued: "The more time that passes, the easier everything gets for all of us. But it is sad, because I was very proud of that book. And I'm still proud of it, but less publicly so. Maybe I need therapy, I don't know." Making it clear just how damaging this has been, the 45-year-old added: "I can't even recommend it anymore. I feel like [the lawsuit] has overshadowed it. I'm almost embarrassed to say I wrote it. When people ask what I do, I'm just like, 'I'm a writer. Please don't ask me what I wrote.'" Oof. That sucks. A movie adaptation is usually such an exciting thing for an author, but it sounds like this has been a never-ending nightmare! View this post on Instagram A post shared by ELLE Magazine (@elleusa) Reactions? Let us know (below)! [Image via MEGA/WENN & NBC/YouTube] The post 'Embarrassed' Colleen Hoover Breaks Silence On 'Sad' <i>It Ends With Us</i> Legal Drama: 'Have My Own Story I Could Tell' appeared first on Perez Hilton.