Khloé Kardashian has a heartbreaking reason for why she doesn't journal anymore. "I used to journal all the time. I haven't journaled in years," Kardashian said on the Wednesday, November 19, episode of her "Khloé in Wonderland" podcast. "I used to love to journal ... I had a few journals that I journaled literally my life away and I loved it. And everything was in these journals." Kardashian recalled a time when her ex-husband, Lamar Odom, was "going through it" and "having a rough time" where he was often "incredibly paranoid." "[He] found these journals that he knew I did all the time and was reading them and just was convinced that I was like taking notes and sending them to the government or something crazy," she continued. "And he threw all of them into a fire in front of me. And I remember sobbing, tears streaming down my face." Khloe Kardashian Says She's 'Not Opposed' to Meeting With Lamar Odom Again The Kardashians star remembered being "on her knees screaming" over the destruction of the journals, which had documented "years of her life." "They meant so much to me," she said. "And that was the last time I journaled because I just felt like, wow, that was taken away in a f***ing blink. And what was the point?" Though Kardashian said she still believes in journaling "so much" because it can be "incredibly therapeutic," the incident with Odom, 46, made her "remind [herself] that ... you don't get to really keep anything in this world." Khloe Kardashian Khloe Kardashian/YouTube "And it's, maybe that's OK. And maybe it's OK to, like, I used to hold on to all these things. And sometimes I will write something, but then just throw it away," she continued. "I don't try to replace what I once had. But I do wish I had those books just to see what were my thoughts then? ... That's just the special part about journaling." Kardashian concluded that even though she "hates" that she doesn't journal anymore because of how special it can be, she "doesn't ever want to risk that that could ever happen again." "I'm not gonna start a journal again and have someone destroy it, or I lose it, or I don't know. But yeah, it's more, I'm not gonna say traumatic for me, but I just don't even wanna open that up again," she said. Khloe Kardashian Reveals 'Pivotal Moment' That Ended Her Marriage Odom and Kardashian were married from 2009 to 2013, when she filed for divorce. The reality star postponed their split in 2015, choosing to become Odom's caretaker after he fell into a coma following an overdose at a legal brothel in Nevada. Kardashian filed for divorce again in 2016 after Odom's recovery, and the dissolution of their marriage was finalized later that year. The exes, who had tied the knot after one month of knowing each other, reunited for the first time in nine years on an episode of The Kardashians in February. The Good American founder returned some of the former basketball player's possessions and reflected with Odom on the highs and lows of their relationship. "I took you through a lot, huh," Odom told Kardashian, who responded, "I can't say it was the easiest time." Odom added, "No, not for me either. Yeah, I f***ed up. With you. I love you for trying your hardest with me. That love - I don't think it'll ever go away. I know it won't."