Posted 4 minutes agoSubscribe to BuzzFeed Daily NewsletterCaret DownHere's A Retrospective On The 2009 VMAs, AKA The Messiest And Wildest Awards Show Of All TimeIt's way more than just *the* incident.by Natasha JokicBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestLink As we stare at another MTV Video Music Awards hurtling into our lives, the mind naturally goes to the past. 16 years ago, to be exact. The 2009 MTV VMAs. Christopher Polk / Getty Images Either you'll know exactly what I'm talking about, or you were born after the fact. It has been hailed as one of the most...iconic? Messiest? Chaotic? Awards shows of all time. So, I decided to rewatch all two hours of the original airing to see what could be gleaned. Christopher Polk / Getty Images Now, it is not easy to find a copy of the '09 VMAs online. Consider this your disclaimer as to why all of the screenshots look as if they've been taken via potato. MTV The show itself was a tribute to Michael Jackson and presented by Russell Brand. If you drink every time someone who has been accused of sex abuse goes on stage, I cannot be held responsible for what happens. Adding to the lore of '09, Russell was introduced by none other than Katy Perry. MTV Some of Russell's first words on stage are to joke about Katy's "glorious entrance." Apparently, Katy wasn't put off by him as they were reportedly spotted making out at an afterparty for the first time. They'd be engaged a few months later, and divorced a few years after that. MTV Disturbingly, Russell makes a number of jokes about wanting to sleep with or downright assault female attendees. On primetime television! Don't romanticize the '00s too much, kids! He's even called a "pervert" by Alexa Chung at one point. Anyway, after his entrance, Russell gets huge cheers from the crowd over the announcing celeb attendees, which include P Diddy and Kanye West (see: earlier statement about drinking). Unrelated, but check out what Jimmy Fallon looked like at the time: MTV Anyway, if I went through all of Russell's incredibly sexual jokes that have aged poorly, we'd be here for a million years. Here's Taylor Lautner and Shakira for a palate cleanser: MTV Except NEVERMIND, because this is the moment where Taylor L gives his then-girlfriend Taylor S the award for Best Female Music Video. "I make country music," she says sweetly, with a hint of a twang, before... MTV ...
Okay, we all know what happens next: Kanye interrupts her to tell everyone that Beyoncé should have won. Given what we now know about Ye, the moment has become even more gut-churning with hindsight. But something that I think was lost to the sands of time was that this was the FIRST AWARD given that night. It's the viewing equivalent of someone slapping you after your alarm clock rings. MTV The stream then abruptly switches to a Best New Artist segment to distract. It's a classic showdown of Lady Gaga and Drake versus...
Asher Roth? At one point, there is a Best New Artist ad that contains a CTA to join the US Army. Kanye is booed whenever he is mentioned for the rest of the ceremony. MTV Getting back to the show! Also underrated is that, within fifteen minutes of being humiliated by Ye, Taylor had to perform. She's introduced by Miranda Cosgrove and Justin Bieber, who tells the crowd to "give it up for Taylor Swift." MTV Her performance begins in the subway and ends with her dancing on a yellow cab. She did a good job! She could do it with a broken heart, even as a 19-year-old. MTV Time to settle down? No, it's time for Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" performance. MTV Surely, this has to be considered one of the greatest VMAs performances of all time. I remember where I was when I first watched it. I was in my parents' living room, because that's where the television was. MTV Also on the lineup? Beyoncé. Despite still being three of the biggest stars in the world, I can't imagine another time in which we'd get to see Taylor, Gaga, and Bey perform in one evening. Maybe if they're all nominated for Oscars the same year? Fuck it, I'm delulu - you heard it here first, folks! MTV Now, allow me a quick aside. Muse also performed this evening for their American television debut. I was BIG into Muse in the '00s and '10s (sorry, I'm British, I can't help it). They are introduced as the band that inspired Twilight. I usually hate it when old rockheads bemoan the lack of bands nowadays, because I do think that the most interesting guitar music being made nowadays is by women and often ignored by that demo. That being said, it does feel like some of the big-spectacle, pop-extravaganza celebrations of rock are in the past. At least, for now... MTV ...
What's that, grandchild? Eminem then wins Best Hip Hop Video for "We Made You" right after? The music video where he has Trisha Paytas make fun of Jessica Simpson? MTV, Shady Records Pink then performs her song "Sober" via aerial dance, which is equally as impressive as it is ridiculous. Not that I'm hating on her! She's been out here flipping abou