Years after accusing Matt Lauer of rape, former NBC staffer Brooke Nevils is sharing more of her side of the story. "It has taken me years to fully understand and articulate Sochi and its aftermath," Nevils wrote in her new book, Unspeakable Things, which hit shelves Tuesday, February 3, referring to the 2014 Winter Olympics as "a singularly life-altering incident in my life." Nevils previously alleged that she was anally raped by Lauer in his hotel room in Russia while covering the Olympics for NBC. She made a formal complaint to the company in 2017, which led to Lauer being fired. (He has maintained that their encounters were consensual, denying accusations of assault. Nevils, meanwhile, has argued she was too drunk to consent.) In her book, Nevils noted that she did not reach out to Lauer for any further comment. She detailed the "intensely private pain" she felt - both before and after she came forward with her story - and admitted she felt like a "traitor" for speaking out against one of the network's biggest stars. Who Is Brooke Nevils? What to Know About NBC Staffer and Matt Lauer's Accuser "When I decided to write this book, I actually was in a psych ward," she recalled. "At that extremely low point in my life, telling this story was not so much a choice but what felt like my last hope to offer anything meaningful to a world that had left me feeling utterly powerless, ashamed, and alone." Scroll below for more of the biggest revelations from Nevils' book, Unspeakable Things: If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. Her Relationship With Meredith Vieira Nevils worked as an assistant for Meredith Vieira, referring to her as a mentor throughout the book. "Since I had no family in New York, she often invited me to join her family at Thanksgiving and Christmas. ... I stayed an assistant far longer than I should have because I loved her so much," Nevils wrote. Nevils traveled to the Sochi Olympics with Vieira, who became the first woman to anchor the Games solo for NBC when Bob Costas contracted pink eye. Before Nevils officially reported Lauer to the company, she spoke privately with Vieira about "a Harvey Weinstein-type situation." "I said it involved Matt then paused, waiting for her to stop me if she didn't want to know more. ... But she did not stop me," Nevils wrote. "Ultimately, her advice was to report it to NBC." What Happened in Sochi As detailed in a previously published excerpt, Nevils was left bleeding and in pain after the alleged rape in Lauer's hotel room. "In that room, I wasn't myself anymore so much as a body suddenly at someone else's disposal," she wrote, adding that no "decent man pressures a terrified, decades-younger woman to do" what Lauer allegedly did that night. Nevils noted that she remembers the image of the bed's headboard moving toward and away from her. Once back in her own room, Nevils looked in the mirror and realized she was visibly drunk - "not just wasted but wrecked." She claimed there was "no way" Lauer wouldn't have been able to notice that himself. Ann Curry Supports 'Brave' Matt Lauer Accuser Before Book Release What Happened After Sochi Nevils described multiple encounters with Lauer after they returned from Russia, including some that allegedly took place at his apartment. She also claimed that he forced her onto her knees in the workplace to perform oral sex. "I described it as an affair because he was married and that was the only way I knew to describe it," Nevils wrote about a conversation she had with a friend. "I described it as an affair because it was less humiliating to be seen as a mistress than a victim." Nevils also described the "cycle" of her relationship with Lauer, recalling how she was once sent into a panic after receiving a text from Lauer while she was walking in the city with her boyfriend. Later, she called her mom in tears, saying she felt like "damaged goods." Her mom replied, "If you can't let this go, you might as well just jump off the George Washington Bridge, because you're throwing away your life." Nevils' mom died from sudden cardiac arrest just three months before Lauer was fired. "When she died, I stopped throwing away my life," Nevils wrote. Her Meeting With HR Nevils went back and forth about coming forward with her story, but she eventually found a lawyer and arranged to meet with HR. "When I objectively outlined what happened in Sochi, it seemed increasingly impossible that Matt's actions that night - one after the next - could have been the result of an innocent misunderstanding," she wrote about the "painful process" of recounting the experience. When Nevils met with two women - an HR representative and an in-house lawyer from NBC - she did not use the words "rape" or "sexual assault." Nevils praised the "swiftness and determi